Communicating Sympathy

Writing sympathy notes: NO is about choice and truth.
How did you and the deceased choose to relate to one another? Predictably the vast majority of us need to become better focused about things we choose to have in our lives. This is true for everything without exception, from what is useful to avoiding tricky and unpleasant emotions. The problem seems to be to do with how to achieve that clarity and then to find the solutions to questions. The 7 Words System offers a straightforward intuitive practice that makes it possible for us to get hold of a greatly improved sense of what it is that we are looking for. This starts with the word No. In the beginning we have to describe faithfully what we don't want, what is not useful, before we can know what we do want.

Writing sympathy notes: HELLO is about openness and exchange.

What did you each learn from one another? The following step relates to the word Hello. We will need to make ourselves open to new ideas and people if we are to develop our scope of keys to the many difficulties that often arise for us. Is that reasonably logical? To get something new we will need to widen our horizons and look where we have not previously looked earlier. Novel ideas, new associates, new situations and new things are all parts of giving reflection to something we have not formerly come into contact with. We will want to trade old for new, that we have something to offer in reasonable return for what we want to obtain for ourselves.

Writing sympathy notes: THANK YOU is about appreciating and valuing.

What did you most value about the deceased? What will you miss most? Among all existing options, some are more pleasing than others and we feel we want to treat them as having a greater worth, because we appreciate them more. This is explained by the primary word Thanks. Habitually, we overlook the worth of what we have, fall into thanklessness and are likely to assume what should not be assumed. It's more than merely politeness to demonstrate our appreciation for things we esteem; it has an important part to play in helping us to succeed in attaining our aims. Unconsciously, we are pulled to what we communicate our thanks for, and yet it's equally valid to say that we can to magnetize them to us too. We build up our magnetism when we say Thanks and therefore, when we do so, we smoothly bring things to us.

Writing sympathy notes: GOODBYE is about realization, decision, completion, and moving on.

With the loss of a loved one, life has changed and will now be different. Goodbye is one of the seven primary words and relates to a process that has four stages. They are: realization, decision, completion and moving on. What we are saying goodbye to a possible stage of change, and so is distinguished in basic terms as absolute elimination of a possible path of action that we had been going towards and in future will not pursue. It is a crossroad point in our range of potential futures. Goodbye is different from No in that it means that we have had some kind of involved interaction already, which now needs to end contrasted with No's negation in the first place. True decisions cut the past away completely and that penetrating quality initiates an opening of a doorway that otherwise does not appear.

Writing sympathy notes: PLEASE is about intention and prayer.

Did you and the deceased share a vision? How did you cooperate to manifest your dreams? Is there more you will do to continue the work? The future opens out according to the habits of what has gone before unless we take control of it and bend it to our desire. This requires us to have a vision of how we want it to be; this vision has to be very clear, precise and positive transformed into intention. They differ don't they - vision and intention? The first is rather illusory and the second is much more motivated and controlled. For a vision to become real there must be help. Nothing can be done without securing the help of others - this takes skill, possibly arguments, even encouragement. It is not always compulsory to offer something such as money or money's worth.

Writing sympathy notes: SORRY is about responsibility, remorse, repair and release.

Do you need to take responsibility and feel genuine remorse for your part in any conflicts and tensions that existed between you and the deceased? Is there anything more you can and need do to repair any harm done? Sorry, the sixth word, is best seen as repairing harm done whenever we've been uncaring or unmindful to the needs or wants of someone else. The best plan is to make sure we prevent the need to say it by being considerate beforehand. Why on earth should we? Well it's because anyone we upset may well act against our better purposes and lower our chances of achievement of our goals, so it is simply more judicious to think about others as well as ourselves. It is all about being responsible, having some feelings towards someone whom we've upset and making recompense when we've slipped up. Only then is it feasible to prevent the likelihood or fix any resentment and release the permanent unpleasantness that otherwise would develop and rankle.

Writing sympathy notes: YES is about accepting and surrender.

Accepting death, our own and others’, is part of surrendering to the natural processes of grief and life. The final phase of our 7 Words technique relates with acceptance; there are circumstances when we simply have to resign ourselves to what we cannot change. The word is Yes. It would be perfect wouldn't it if we were able to make the world exactly the way we envision it - but in actual reality we can't. We always need to suffer what comes, and to take what is not exactly what we asked for. The paramount habit is to trust that everything sooner or later turns around to our advantage, that the modifications to our plans are all improvements when understood in the perspective of the longer term. Clearly it's not easy to see it when we are still close and attached to our desires of course not! Still hold your fire and you'll see that the unexpected incidents, the surprises and disappointments are actually the best bits disguised as hardships.

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